When Dreams Become a Trap
Watching The Last Showgirl had me reflecting on dreams, the cost of pursuing them, and what it really means to go for your dream. This is not a review of the film, but it may contain spoilers so please continue at your own risk.
Shelly Gardner has been a showgirl for around 30 years in Le Razzle Dazzle in Las Vegas. She considers this her calling, her dream. She was lucky to begin with the show when it originated and enjoyed the fame and glamour that it entailed initially, and she still believes in the show and in her identity as a showgirl.
As the film progresses, we find out that she has an adult daughter who grew up with other family members and that they are largely estranged. Her daughter, Hannah, confronts her after finally seeing the show, considering it somewhat pornographic and the dancing unchallenging, asking her mother if this is really what she thought was more important than being her mother.
This confrontation, between your own dreams and how you view them versus an outside look at it, had me wondering, what is the cost of going after your dreams and is it worth the price?
We do like to think of our accomplishments as our own, and of course they largely are, but I think people often forget that it’s really the people around us that enable us to go after what we want. This can be anything from encouragement to taking care of financial responsibilities, and anything in between.
Just as it takes more than one person to create an accomplishment, it also necessitates that our dreams will have an impact, and sometimes a negative one, on those around us.
Was Shelly’s decision to prioritize her dream and identity as a showgirl wrong or is it wrong to expect Shelly to give up her dream for the identity of mother?
In the film, we find out that Eddie, the producer, is Hannah’s father, but Hannah doesn’t know that. In a separate scene, Shelly mentions that now that the show is closing, she doesn’t know what she will do and therefore who she is going to be, but Eddie will stay with the theater and simply produce a different show. Nothing changes for him. We never find out why Hannah doesn’t know he is her father or why he didn’t step up and take care of her.
Shelly tries to connect with Hannah but Hannah views it both as a little too late as well as seeming to want to have a relationship with her mother.
There is danger in putting all of your identity into a single source. Not being a showgirl anymore leaves Shelly’s identity in flux. This is true regardless of the reason why something is taken away. When there is a single source, it’s risky because things outside of our control can take them away. Instead of making our job our identity, I believe it’s more important to embody qualities that we admire, like being a good friend or an honest person. These things are core to you and can never be taken away, unlike an external identity.
Depending on your personal views, you will see Shelly positively in that she went after her dream and didn’t give up, even when societal expectations came knocking, or you will see her as a failure for choosing her dream over sacrificing it for the sake of being a present mother for Hannah.
Like most things, I think the answer lies in balance. I don’t believe in remaining in a box that society wants to put me in. I believe in going after my dreams. But I also don’t want to be naïve to the fact that going after my dreams does mean that things will be sacrificed, and I should be aware of this so that I can make an active decision in my life. The cost, to me, should not outweigh the benefit, to me, of going after my dream. Ultimately, only I can decide what that means.
In the end, I want to look back and know that my sacrifices were worth it. I would like to think that those that love me will feel the same way but I cannot make decisions solely on that because how someone feels about something is out of my control. All I can do is do my best.
What dream have you pursued, and looking back now, so far, was it worth it?
