Breaking Up With Diet Culture

Diet culture, at its most basic, values thinness over health. It values appearance over substance. It tells us that we are only to be valued as others see us, and for others to see us at all, we must be thin.

The desire to be thin can then lead to fad diets. Fad diets, by definition, are short-term and will come and go. The reason is that they are not sustainable. Just because you can lose weight by strictly following a fad diet for a time, it doesn’t mean you can keep doing it for the rest of your life.

People, especially women, feel forced to follow the beauty and body standard of the moment. What we don’t realize, I know I didn’t for a long time, is that there is no such thing as a beauty or body standard because what’s considered beautiful changes all the time. If you look back in history, even just over the last 100 years, you will see a variety of beauty and body standards.

Unrealistic beauty and body standards can lead to body image issues, which then can lead to fad diets and worse. Self-acceptance of who you are right now isn’t the same as being defeated, of giving up. It’s meeting yourself where you are, on your way to a better you.

I know that’s easier said than done. Even with that knowledge, there is still this small part of me that wants to punish myself because I think that’s the only way to motivate me to do what I need to do. That I need to look down on myself to be willing to move and exercise. That I need to judge myself for how I eat, feel that shame, and then somehow be motivated to become a rabbit. But that’s all bullshit. And I’m slowly learning that. Give yourself grace and time to unlearn bad habits.

I’ve always felt out of the loop on mindfulness and eating. How am I supposed to practice mindful eating when, in my case, I feel like I’m constantly eating or restrictively eating? What I’ve realized might work for me, and this is still a work in progress, is to ask myself why I’m reaching for what I’m reaching for. Am I eating this because I’m hungry? Is it because everyone around me is eating? Is it because I’m bored? Am I thirsty? Or am I really hungry and this is what I want to eat right now to satisfy that hunger?

Taking a step back and assessing why I want to eat helps me pause the physical auto-pilot process of grabbing something I’m used to (usually something sweet). When I allow auto-pilot to be in charge, whatever I’m grabbing will be half-way gone before I even realize, and I’m not even sure why. When I pause to ask, I’m also forced to answer myself. Do I want this piece of cake because I’m hungry or because I’m sad?

It’s not about whether one or the other is right or wrong. It’s about forcing myself to acknowledge my emotional state at that moment, and seeing whether it’s affecting my decision to eat versus actual hunger. By acknowledging that I might be emotionally eating, I can also be honest about if that piece of cake will really help me or if it’s just a band aid. Then, I can look for other ways to deal with that emotion and to make myself feel better without using food to do it.

The point is not to deny myself that piece of cake but rather to start a conversation so that I can get to the root of the problem. And if I want that piece of cake even after all of this, then I will have that piece of cake.

I believe that food and movement should be enjoyed. You should do neither because of shame nor should it result in shame. Movement should make you feel more alive, happier. It’s not a punishment for eating too much nor is it a route to eating more.

I also don’t believe in cheat days. Inherent in this idea of cheat days is that there are foods that are forbidden and you can only have them on one specific day of the week. For my brain, that just makes me want those things more and I get stuck in an endless cycle of perceived failure because I will eat those things on days that are not my cheat day.

Instead, I want to learn how to make solid choices each day. To learn how to balance my food, both for what my body needs as well as for what I want, because it brings me joy. Maybe that means having a slice of cake once a day but instead of cutting myself a giant slice, I cut a much smaller size. Maybe it’s weighing my desire for a snack when I’m bored during the day against my desire to have my cake as dessert later and choosing the cake. I want to be an active participant in my own life, especially when it comes to food choices.

I would also caution you to not spend too much time online. Doing research, finding inspiring people is fine but getting sucked into online rabbit holes will not aid you on your journey to a better you. Cut out the noise by limiting your interaction with various social media platforms. Gather the information that you need but then take a step back and take a look at your own body and your own mind and define what health means to you.

We all come from different backgrounds and experiences when it comes to food and movement. We have all been taught different things and it takes time to unlearn bad habits, to learn new information, and to implement it in our own lives. There is no quick fix. There never has been and never will be.

By breaking up with diet culture and defining what health looks like for you, you begin to create a sustainable lifestyle. This mindset shift will take time, and that’s just fine. Patience is not my strong suit, but I remind myself that it’s not just about the goal of losing weight but rather about creating a lifestyle that makes my mind and body happy and healthy, and therefore me happy and healthy.

As you make the journey to a healthier you, don’t forget to celebrate the non-scale victories too. We can get too hung up on the number on the scale, I know I do, but extend the celebration further out. Celebrate the moment the pants that were always just a bit too tight fit perfectly. That you are sleeping better than you have in a long time. That you are feeling energized most days instead of just once in a blue moon. These are all signs that you are well on your way to becoming a healthier and happier you.

What is your first step going to be?