The Sleep Struggle
I feel like there is never enough sleep anymore. Maybe this is a sign of being an adult but it’s one that I’ve never been fond of. I really love sleeping but it often feels like I just can’t get enough of it, even though I technically do.
The recommendation that’s always floated around is 7-9 hours per night for an adult but that really isn’t specific enough. Each person has unique needs, and they aren’t always going to be the same within the same week, let alone months or years.
For me, my ideal sleep time is 9-10 hours in bed, which usually means about 7.5 to 8.5 hours of actual sleep. This puts me right in that sweet spot but what that sweet spot fails to account for, I think, is that I don’t sleep undisturbed throughout the night, nor do I always fall asleep immediately when my head hits the pillow.
To achieve the amount of sleep that I need, I have to be in bed much longer than that. Someone might believe they only need about 7 hours of sleep, but if they go to bed and wake up with only 7 total hours, I can almost guarantee you that they probably got 5.5-6.5 hours, at best, of sleep. Not enough for most people to function at their most optimal.
This could be part of why you feel sleepy during the day, even if you think you’ve been getting enough sleep. I have also noticed that as an adult, and as I’ve gotten older, I sleep lighter than I used to. All this really means is that it’s more difficult to get that good quality of sleep.
When I was a kid, I fell asleep quickly and stayed asleep through the night. I felt rested the day after but now as an adult, I often wake up during the night. This disrupts my sleeping and if it happens enough, no matter how long I stay in bed, I’ll feel tired. I usually wake up once a night, sometimes twice (pretty survivable for me), but your numbers, both in hours sleeping, hours in bed, and number of times you wake up might be different.
If you haven’t before, and you have the ability to, start tracking your sleep. Use pen and paper or your phone if you must. Write down how you feel in the morning and take note of various factors from the night before to see if you can find a correlation between how you slept and how you feel. You can track things like what temperature you have your house at, what food you ate, how close to bedtime you ate, if you had any strenuous activity close to bed and so on.
I use the Oura ring to give me a better idea of how I slept. You can also do the same by using any one of the multitudes of technology that we have at our disposal to track sleep. I caution you not to become overly reliant on it though. I don’t always feel the way the Oura ring says I should feel but I like seeing my general sleep quality and how it breaks out over being awake, light sleep, deep sleep and REM sleep.
Knowing this isn’t necessary though because ultimately you need to listen to your body. If you feel tired, no app can tell you otherwise. If you don’t feel tired, but the app says you should be taking it easy, listen to your body. Technology only gets us so far, but it should never replace our knowledge of ourselves. Nobody tells you more about your body than your body does. Learn to trust it.
It’s a work in progress for me but I strongly believe in the idea that our bodies know how to best take care of us. A lot of our journey to get to a better version of ourselves is to learn to listen to what our body needs and wants, instead of making assumptions about what we should and shouldn’t be doing. You cannot outsource your health.
When I feel sick, I often stay in bed and try to sleep more. I bet you do as well. This is a form of our body telling us what it needs and us listening and doing it. Granted, we are sort of forced to by being sick, but the principle is the same.
The body needs sleep to repair, recharge, and fight off infection. If we force it to go through our regular day, chances are we will make ourselves feel worse and we will prolong whatever is going on.
This also works in the reverse, where if we don’t get enough sleep routinely, we might be more susceptible to catching a cold or getting sick because our immune system defenses are lower than they would be otherwise.
Sleep is like a reboot for your brain. After a bad day, all I want to do is curl up with a book or a show and just fall asleep. If I’m feeling overwhelmed or anxious, I can’t wait to go to bed because I know the next day will be at least slightly better, if not a lot better. If I don’t sleep enough, I feel tired and sluggish throughout the day and if I need to do important things, or do anything really that involves my brain, it’s not going to happen at the level that I want or need, if I’m too tired or foggy.
I’ve also noticed, as I’m on my journey to be a healthier me, that if I’m tired, I’m more likely to reach for that extra chocolate or salty chips when I’m full, or whatever else I might be craving in the moment. When I’m able to attain good to great sleep, I think less about food.
Sleep is something we do without choice. Our bodies require it in such a manner that even if you tried staying awake, eventually you would pass out, possibly for several more hours than you would plan otherwise. It’s a quintessential part of being a human being. Instead of looking at it like it’s something annoying, learn to work with it. Figure out how to listen to your own body, find out what hours of sleep help you to be at your most optimal, and how much time in bed that actually requires and go from there. Any step forward is better than standing still when it comes to learning about sleep, your body, and how the two interact. This is how you can make sure to be the best version of yourself as often as possible.
What is the first thing you are going to do to optimize your sleep?
