How Past Events Shape Our Thinking

When we’re born, we’re blank slates. Whether you take that literally or philosophically isn’t the point—what matters is that we learn everything from those around us. We learn to walk and talk, ask questions, and take the answers we’re given as fact. It’s only later that we realize adults are often winging it—but I digress.

As we grow, our world expands. Starting school exposes us to new perspectives. Some challenge our worldview, others reinforce it. We begin to consider ourselves in relation to others and the larger world.

Through it all, past events shape how we see and approach the present. This is true on every level—from our immediate responses to how we imagine the future.

When it comes to physical health, I never thought much about it until it was suddenly in my face. As a kid, I wore baggy clothes and didn’t pay attention to my body. Then boys started liking my friends and not me. My friends lied about their weight. I began to wonder if something was wrong with me. Looking back, there wasn’t—I was healthy, and my weight was exactly where it should have been.

That same year, I moved to America. The food was different, I moved less, and I gained weight quickly. Since then, I’ve yoyoed—sometimes successful, mostly not.

My past still shapes how I think about my body. I don’t give it my all because I assume I’ll fail again. I know what to do, but I struggle to turn that knowledge into action. Part of me believes I’m just meant to be bigger. That this is how it is. But I’ve also seen success—I’ve lost weight, felt better, clearer, more capable.

So why do I let past failures define me more than past wins?

I think it’s complex—more than I fully understand. But I do know this: change is hard. It’s easier to stay the same, especially if your current state isn’t completely miserable. In the past, I wasn’t perfectly happy, but I was fine. What if I try to change and end up worse? That fear can be paralyzing.

This is where I’m at now: learning how to push past a comfort zone that no longer serves who I want to become.

This isn’t limited to health. Someone who struggled to read as a kid might grow up thinking they don’t like reading. But maybe they were dyslexic. Or maybe they just hadn’t found the right book. With the right support, anyone can develop a love of reading.

The same goes for school subjects, language learning, job interviews—even changing the oil in your car. Past experiences shape how we approach these things now. That’s natural. But letting the past dictate what we do—or don’t do—today? That’s where we can get stuck.

I used to like math. Then I didn’t. I had a few kind but rigid teachers who only explained things one way. I didn’t get it, so I gave up. I avoided math through most of my education, limiting what I could study at university because I believed I just wasn’t good at it.

But with the right teacher and effort, I actually was good. Looking back, I wish I hadn’t written myself out of that story so quickly. Still, my choices—good and bad—made me who I am. My life isn’t perfect, but there’s so much beauty in it. I don’t live with regret.

Instead, I’ve made an intentional decision: I’m relearning math, starting from the beginning on Khan Academy. I even have a middle-grade math book. I’m doing it to prove to myself that I can. Because I’m fascinated by disciplines like astrophysics—and while I don’t need math to enjoy them, I want to understand them more deeply. I want to reconnect with a part of myself I left behind.

So now I ask you:

How have past events shaped your thinking about something in your life?